Great sex doesn’t depend on you or the other person being an expert, it depends on two people being comfortable to explore and enjoy each other. It can be difficult and embarrassing, and it isn’t always easy to talk to your partner(s) about sex in general and particularly about what is important for you during sex. But the more you talk about sex with your partner(s) the easier it becomes to discuss the sex you really want.

• Think about what you want – think about what you like.
• Don’t be afraid to say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ depending on what feels right for you.
• Be prepared to negotiate and agree to practice safer sex.
• Tell your partner what you like as well as being clear about what you don’t like.

It is ok to say no

• It is ok to refuse someone and say no.
• It is ok to say ‘stop I’ve changed my mind, I don’t want to take this any further’.
• It is ok to say ‘I am not having sex without a condom’.

You have the right to change your mind, no matter how far you have or haven’t gone. You may need to say ‘No’ verbally and non-verbally. The clearest way to say ‘No’ is to walk away or remove yourself from the situation. Sex against your will is considered sexual assault or rape. If this happens you can do something about it. Talk to a health worker or contact a rape crisis centre

In Ireland the age of consent is 17 – a person is not legally old enough to agree to have any form of sex until they are at least 17.